Away From My Bug

Image via Wikipedia With the way this blog has been going, it makes perfect sense to whine and complain about something on the last day that it will be an issue. I could have whined about it before hand or from the get go, but I wouldn't want to disappoint my millions of readers. *snicker*

Down to the good stuff.

A while ago, I'd say a little over a month ago, I was given the opportunity to register for the FDA Pacific Region Retail Food Safety Seminar. Of course I jumped at the chance, having had such a wonderful time at the last Farm to Table conference I went to. My request was approved, travel arrangements and hotel stay made and I was on my way! It wasn't until a few days before the conference that I realized the gravity of the situation I had put myself in.

Lily isn't so much a Momma's girl, but Momma is definitely a Lily's girl. We only nurse a few times a day now and I don't always have to nurse her to sleep. Just as often as I do nurse her to sleep, Dadda rocks her to sleep. He's been a dear and since we started crib training has been getting up to stick her pacifier back in in the middle of the night. Sometimes around 2 am she will just not have it anymore and needs Momma to come and nurse her back to sleep. It's really the only time that I can appease her and Dadda can't. Doesn't happen all the time, but often enough for me to say, well crap, what was I thinking? You see, I've never spent a night away from my baby and now all of a sudden I will be spending 4 nights away from her!

After much pondering of where my brain went coupled with much worry and trying to figure out who would come with me to watch Lily in the hotel while I was in the conference, I finally decided that I had to just go for it. I really didn't want to but was extremely excited for the conference so I was hoping that the excitement would help me with the pain of leaving her. It helped that I was able to shave a night off my absence so that I was only leaving her for three nights. Eventually, it sank in that it would be harder on me than on my little bug. At least at home she would be able to stay in her normal routine, play at daycare and play with Dadda.

I dropped my bug off at daycare by myself the morning that I left and gave her much loves and kisses. It was hard not to cry as I left, but I didn't want to worry my little girl so I toughed up. Dadda was a great help because anytime in the evening that I wanted to visit my baby girl, we hooked up the video chat from our computers and I got to see her. We played, sang, clapped together and even ate together. I ate a bagel, she had cheerios and kept staring at the magic silver box, wondering why her momma was talking to her from there instead of at the table. Okay, well I guess I don't really know what she was wondering, but her look made it seem like she was wondering at my sanity.

She seems to be doing fine without me there. She has slept through the night the first two nights (I haven't spoken to them yet today so I'm unsure about last night) and has been eating well. I only have half a day here today and then will be heading home. I am SO excited to see my baby tonight.

In conference news, it has been a blast. The first evening I was here I went cruising around Seattle looking for food. I really only went 3 blocks away but it seemed so far because I was so terrified. I was scared of the people, scared that I would be pick pocketed or mugged even though I was out in full daylight along with many other travelers. I was scared that I would get lost as well. I never considered myself a country girl, but I'm starting to think that I now am. I can't see the sky here for the tall skyscrapers and it is very disconcerting. Since I can't see the sky, I have no sense of direction and have no idea where I am going. I refused to carry a map around because I felt it would make me more vulnerable. Eventually in my wanderings I came across the Westlake Center Mall and grabbed some Chinese at the food court.

Tuesday lunch went better. I tagged along with one person that I sort of know and more people that she knows. We went to the Tap House, which wasn't even a block away. The only picture frmo the trip I have is from here and when I get home I will post it. There has to be like 60 beers on tap right behind the bar. It was awesome! The food was decently priced and quite tasty.

That night I yet again had nobody to go eat with so I came back to my room, ate the rest of my bagel while video chatting with my baby and then went to see The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants 2. It was a very cute story although I felt kind of lame for going to a movie by myself. I never had before but I think I could do it again if I needed to.

Wednesday afternoon I tagged along with a group of State food safety people (talk about intimidating) and again had food court food. That is just about enough food court food for a while. Bleh. For Dinner I drove out to Renton and had dinner at Yankie's with my Mother-In-Law and then joined her at the movie theater to see WALL-E. Oh my lord that was stinking cute! Definitely a must have!

*I just about cried. My browser crashed in the middle of this blog and I thought I had lost the whole thing. Thank goodness for blogger and autosave!*

So that's what I've been doing with all of my free time. I could have visited Pike Place Market or the Space Needle, but without anyone to spend my time with I was afraid of coming back alone after dark. I think I had fun with my time though, so I won't worry too much.

Okay, I really need to start packing up and heading down to the rest of the conference. I'll update on the actual conference as soon as I can.

Cosleeping and other parenting issues

Okay, what's the deal with the rest of the world telling me what I should and shouldn't do and what I can and can't do. Here's a tip - my daughter is MY daughter. Did that magically escape everyone's grasp? I feel like the day I had my daughter, all the people that I know decided that they knew what was best and they were going to let me know it! No, I haven't been a parent before. Yes, I HIGHLY appreciate any advice given to me by other PARENTS; however, I'm not always going to take the advice.

There are many different parenting philosophies out there. Some are more "crunchy" than others and although I rarely ever call myself a "crunchy" person, I'm finding that a lot of the things that I do instinctively with my daughter tend to fall into this category.

In the hospital my baby slept in her cradle. I wanted to hold her all the time but was constantly told to put her down to sleep (so that I could get sleep too I imagine). After I came home, I put her in her bassinet to sleep for a few days, but having to get up and down all night while recovering from a c-section just wasn't doing it for me so one night I let her sleep the rest of the night next to me in bed. We haven't stopped since. It's so much easier, both on her and myself I think. At night I put her next to me and let her nurse until she falls asleep. I've usually fallen asleep long before she pops off and goes to sleep herself. When she's hungry, she starts fussing, I latch her back on and we're back to me dozing while she nurses and then we both pass out. Nobody has to get out of the warm bed. Nobody has to scream to bed fed. I've commonly heard that once a baby screams to be fed, it's already too late and if you watch a baby it's true. My daughter will start bobbing her head on me, licking anything near her mouth and sticking her tongue out if she's hungry. If I'm watching for these signs, I know to feed her. By the time she's crying and screaming, it means, "Hey, I already told you I'm hungry, what's the deal?" By her cosleeping, I'm able to feed her when she first tells me she's hungry, not when she's already screaming because I've ignored what she's saying.

What other benefits does cosleeping have for us? Well, I sleep for one. Even with her in bed next to me I check on her breathing multiple times a night. If I can't see it with a glance then I feel her to see if she's breathing. Can you imagine how much sleep I wouldn't get if she were in a separate bassinet? I'd be up all night! Co-sleeping keeps us both warm and I think it increases the bond between us. I also think it makes her a less clingy baby (at least as far as needing to always be on me personally). She gets her cuddle time at night so she doesn't need it all day. Now I'm not saying that she doesn't prefer to be held all the time, who wouldn't. She is, however, content with anyone holding her and this is how I'd like to keep it. Happy with me when I'm home and happy with other people when I can't be there.

So, if co-sleeping is so wrong, why does it feel so right?

Recently people have started telling me (yet again) that I need to start having my daughter sleep in her own bed. At first it was so that she would sleep at daycare. Okay, my daycare lady is awesome and set up a vibrating bassinet in her bedroom and my daughter sleeps great in it! If she doesn't, then she'll sleep in her swing. So she sleeps at daycare - what's the next reason for kicking her out of bed? Ah, so we can have the bed back to ourselves. Okay, well, I think I sleep better with her there. I have a history of insomnia. I can usually sleep a few hours and then I'm up for the rest of the night. With my daughter next to me however, although I check on her throughout the night, I'm actually in bed all night long. I feel more refreshed in the morning than I ever have. Even when I came home from surgery - you'd think I would want to nap by myself but nope. I had my daughter right next to me (elevated so I couldn't roll on her) and we both passed out for a good 2 hour nap. What's the point of making her sleep in her own room if we both sleep fine in bed?

My last thought before I end this is - were babies ever really meant to sleep on their own? I have people in my life who live their lives a certain way and constantly have the mantra - "were we really meant to do this?" I got flak for breastfeeding my daughter because of the difficulties we had (a whole other post) - were babies really meant to drink a cow's milk? Some people don't believe that people shouldn't even be drinking cow's milk because it isn't natural for us and because of the inhumane treatment of the cow. It isn't good enough for them, but it's good enough for my daughter? Were babies really meant to sleep off in a separate cave or other living quarters? Probably not. Children were kept close to their parents due to the ease of feeding and the warmth that the closeness would provde. So why, in today's society, do I have to take my baby and stick her in a separate room or a separate bed?

That's all for now. I've had that playing on my mind for a while and needed to get it out there. Leave me your thoughts, advice, comments or suggestions for getting folks off my back. Hey, if you're against co-sleeping, leave your thoughts as well. Nobody can be informed of their decisions without hearing arguments from both sides.